Mesmerised
by custardcreams
Summary: Fairly typical Cophine high school AU with a twist! Geek!Delphine & cool!Cosima. Other clones/characters will be present as well.
1. Chapter 1

I've read a lot of stories where Cosima is the geek, and Delphine the popular girl, and even though that idea does fit for me, I can also picture it the other way around! So I thought I would try! Reviews are very appreciated. Thanks!

_ 

Cosima Niehaus sauntered down the hallway with entirely too much swing in her hips for a high school student and I was mesmerised. Mesmerised from the very first moment I saw her, walked straight into the open locker door in front of me and dropped all my newly purchased books on the floor like a fool. Mesmerised by the soft smile that was always spread across her mouth, mesmerised by the way her hands flew and danced when she spoke, mesmerised by the curls that bounced behind her while she walked.

Where Cosima was all smoothness and ease, I was something much more rigid. All long torso and gangly limbs, I watched Cosima, and envied the fluidity of her movements from a far. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. Girls like Cosima Niehaus, student body president, unfathomably popular and sweet,star of the school, did not talk to girls like me.

I stared at her constantly, and I'm sure she knew it. While I had never spoken to her, she often shot me bemused smiles across the hall, across the cafeteria, in the car park. I always turned my head as quickly as possible, and pretended to be admiring a smudge of grime on the wall, or be utterly enthralled by the latest text message Maman had sent me. Anything but the truth. Anything but have her know I was slightly in love with her.

When I had first transferred to the school, fresh off the plane from France, a bundle of nerves topped by a scraggily pile of blonde curls, it struck me as odd that she was so popular. Cosima Niehaus, in all of her wonder, did not seem like the girls I had seen on the many American films popular with my friends back home. She did not seem mean or callous, and I couldn't imagine her dunking some poor soul's head in the toilet, or whatever it was American teenagers did for fun.

It was the first day back of school after summer, and I was nervous. My only friend from the year before, Mia, had moved to the other side of the country, as her father had been promoted, and I felt doomed, as I would be yet again starting the year with no friends. At first when I had arrived, many people had wanted to be my friend, enamoured with the idea of an exotic and sophisticated French girl. I imagine they thought I would skip classes, smoke cigarettes and read cosmopolitan magazine with them, and the reality of an entirely too tall, awkward, dork was nowhere near as desirable, and so I was ignored.

I prayed to every god I could think of that somehow this year would throw Cosima Niehaus into my stratosphere, and I went to all of my classes with my fingers crossed in frenzied excitement, hoping to see her delightful brown curls bob into the classroom. I was out of luck with my morning classes, but did catch a glimpse of her, sitting at the best table in the cafeteria, surrounded by her friends at lunch time. Her arm was draped lazily around the girl next to her, and every so often her face lit up in laughter. I sat alone and prodded at my raspberry jelly miserably.

By last period, gym, I had all but given up hope, and when I saw her march through the doors, her gym shorts scandalously tight and short on her perfectly tanned thighs. I felt my stomach drop.

I wanted her to be in a class with me! Any class but gym!

Of course fate would twist its wicked fingers and drop the girl of my dreams, quite literally, into the one class where I couldn't hold my own. I was terrible at gym. After my growth spurt a few years ago, I'd never really felt at home in my body. My limbs seemed to work against me, most obviously in gym class. I was consistently picked last, with a roll of the eyes and a begrudging acceptance, sometimes less with the acceptance, and more with varied balls and occasionally more creative sports equipment being intentionally thrown at my head. I sighed, and resigned myself to the fact that Cosima Niehaus was never going to see me as anything but target practise.

Ms North, our slightly stocky teacher announced we were to play my least favourite game in the history of awful high school gym games, dodge ball. My stomach dropped even further down, more so than I had thought possible as I envisioned receiving at least one ball smack in the centre of my face.

We were separated into two teams, and as usual Ms North picked her two favourite students to captain the teams. Beth Childs stood on one side, a cocky grin spread across her face, and of course Cosima Neihaus stood on the other. One by one, the rattled off the names of their desired team mates, and I willed all the bones in my body to cross, wishing for once to not be picked last. After selecting her best friend, Sarah Manning, and her twin sister Helena, who would probably have tried to burn down the gym rather than be separated from her sister, Cosima grinned widely.

"I'll uh, I'll take Delphine"

Cosina Niehaus said my name? Cosima Niehaus _knew_ my name? I felt my heart race, and I was sure Cosima could hear it's overzealous beating. I bit my lip, and although I couldn't believe it, I didn't dare argue. I grinned like an idiot and hoped the blush on my cheeks wasn't terribly obvious, and trotted to join Cosima's team like a dumb puppy.

Our group gathered into a huddle, and while I thought Cosima would take charge, it was Sarah Manning who spoke first "So like, I think we should just throw the balls at Rachel. I'm thinking a good walloping might dislodge the stick from her arse, yeah?"

Cosima snorted loudly, and gently nudged her elbow into Sarah's side. "Nah Sarah, it's only the first day back, it's totes too early for you to dance with detention"

When our strategy was decided, we spread across our side of the floor and I braced myself.

While our group strategy was to win, my personal strategy was to avoid the ball at all costs. I did not want to get hit and embarrass myself in front of this girl who knew my name. I did not want to touch the ball at all, fearing if I missed a shot I might fall out of Cosima's apparent favour.

I was so caught up, a bundle of nervous energy, that I didn't even see the ball coming for my head. I fell directly backwards and began to cry. It didn't hurt, the balls were so soft. But I had ruined my chance to impress Cosima. How terribly typical of me. My heart thumped and I sobbed louder.

I felt a strong hand grip mine and swiftly pull me back onto my traitorous feet. Cosima beamed at me quickly, before turning to our teacher and annoucing rather loudly she was going to escort me to the Nurses office. Her hand gripped mine and she led me out of the room, down the hall and towards the Nurse.

It hit me suddenly, harder than the force of ball, harder the ground I had fallen back on; Cosima Niehaus was holding my hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Eeep, another chapter! Thank you to the people who reviewed! Especially to the person who mentioned orthodontics. I'm super tempted to work them into a future chapter. As always, reviews are appreciated. Thanks for reading, buddies!

_

The cheap leather of the Nurse's bed was cold against the back of my thighs, and Cosima Niehaus' hand was hot on my knee. My body was confused and ached all over. Cosima's hand was making me incredibly nervous, but I prayed she wouldn't move it.

I'd always imagined the first time Cosima Niehaus' nimble fingers crept up my leg would be more romantic than this. Maybe we'd be on a picnic, and her hand would rub the inside of my thigh as our lips met, or we'd be on my bed, my thighs spread, and one of hers placed between my own, creating a delicious friction. Nothing so uncomfortable or sterile. Nothing that involved my thighs in cheap nylon shorts. I sighed.

She looked at me sympathetically, probably picturing me flat on my back sobbing again. I could feel the rosy tinge on my cheeks.

"I'm sure the Nurse will be here soon, Delphine. Hang tight!"

Her voice was entirely too chirpy for this situation. Then again, she wasn't barreled up with the star of all her most inappropriate dreams rubbing her thigh in a way that was making her knees weak.

"Well we're here, Delphine, I have a proposition for you" Cosima grinned, and her tongue darted out from between her teeth for a moment. I was melting.

"Ah, yes, Co-si-ma, how can I help you?" The french lilt in my voice was so much more obvious when I was flustered, and I was thankful she didn't know me well enough to realise.

"Well, I know it's very surprising, since I'm practically perf, but I'm kinda struggling with French, and since you're the resident croissant fan, I thought you could maybe help me?" Her voice was hopeful, and before I knew what I was doing, I agreed.

"You can come to my house after school" I offered. "I live on Maple Street."

"Delphine!" Cosima leaned in conspiratorially, raising her eyebrows slightly. "I know where you live. Everyone knows where you live!"

Because nobody really spoke to me at school, I had dumbly assumed I had a level of anonymity. I felt very foolish. Of course everyone would know my house, it wasn't exactly subtle. Subtle had never been my step father's strong point.

My step father, Aldous, had been a very famous Doctor in France, and after a fall from grace which may have been plastered all over the news for months, and may have involved some illegal cloning trials, he had packed us up and moved us to America, wanting a fresh start. My mother hadn't complained, imagining our life would transform into Keeping Up With the Cormiers, all the difficulties of our life in France left behind. But unfortunately, it was not so simple.

Before we had even arrived in America, Aldous had purchased the largest house he could find, and promptly begun renovations. By the time we moved in, he had erected a somewhat sinister seven foot wrought iron fence, shielded by a thick layer of shrubs, and a state of the art home security system. Even our gate had a pin code, and I detested it.

He was very concerned with security, as he had been hounded by the press since the news broke. And as the Americans were working with the government back home to extradite him, he wasn't prepared to take any risks. While I did not like it, and often felt like a princess locked up in a silly fairy tale tower, I did understand. He still appeared in the paper almost daily, and he wanted to protect Maman and I from the furore. But since I had stubbornly kept my father's name, I had assumed nobody realised the connection between me and the evil scientist they had seen on television.

After a check up, the nurse allowed me to go home early. I was not injured, but I think she could sense how flustered I was. Maman picked me up, and I quickly announced that the next day I was to have a friend over. She was terribly excited. At home I was very popular, and my best friend practically lived at our house. Maman missed a full house and entertaining people. America had not been kind to either of us in that respect, and she was very keen to have someone new in the house.

That evening I lay in my bed, my tummy an uncomfortable mixture of sheer excitement and nervous energy. Tomorrow afternoon Cosima Niehaus would be in my house, in my bedroom, maybe sitting on my bed!

The next day passed so slowly and I sat in my classes in haze, paying attention only the wall clock that would signal my freedom. I felt as though I may throw up, but thankfully I did not. I could not even bring myself to eat lunch, and instead mashed my food up and pushed it around my tray. I was so happy when the final bell rang, but I still felt as though I would be ill.

Cosima arranged to meet me by the bike stands, and although Maman had offered to pick us up, I thought it best we walk. My house was only a few blocks from the school after all, and I was nervous that Maman would embarrass me in front of Cosima.

I waited by the bike stands, and I was slightly nervous that Cosima would fail to show up. Maybe this whole thing had been a joke? I could not really imagine that she would want to come to my house, or spend time with me, and I really struggled to believe that she, the only girl in the school with better grades than me, was struggling with her French class. But then I saw her, sashaying her way over to me, all hips and a vibrant wave of her arm.

"Delphine!" She looked as though she wanted to hug me. "I am like totes excited. Your house looks hella rad"

I turned my head and scrunched my nose, trying to figure out exactly what she meant. Although we had lived in America for some time, my lack of friends had left my English still firmly stuck in the realm of formality.

"Ahh, you mean you think my house will be nice? It is not so great. It's lonely in a house so large" I smiled softly and hoped she would not think I was a total loser.

"Aw, well! I'm sure I can liven it up a bit!" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and I felt less like I would be ill, and more like I would fall over again.

We walked the blocks in a friendly chatter, and Cosima told me about how totes lame her classes were this year, and about how Sarah Manning had suggested their science teacher dissect Rachel Duncan instead of a frog this year, because not only did she kinda look like a frog, but maybe they could win the next Nobel prize by discovering exactly made her such a bitch, and had landed herself a week of detention. I laughed, and was so drawn in by the animated way Cosima spoke of her friends, a flurry of hands and wide smiles. I hoped someday she would speak about me with such vigour.

We arrived I my gate, and I smiled lamely, gesturing to my house.

"This is it.."

"Holy potatoes Delphine. I'd forgotten how ridiculous your house is!" She stood there, somewhat gobsmacked, as I entered the pin code and waited for the gate to open.

"Your like batman or something! Baguetteman!" She laughed her own joke, and I did too.

"Yes, Cosima, our batcave is a bakery, and I have invited you hear to be our newest bread making captive" I joked.

"Mmm, maybe that wouldn't be so bad." She said it with a cheeky wink, and my knees went a little bit weak.

After ushering her away from my mother, I led Cosima up the stairs and to my bedroom. I paused slightly at the door and turned to face Cosima. "We could always study in the living room?" I posed it like a question, and Cosima grinned, ignored me, and promptly let herself into my bedroom. 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates. My life has been slightly hideous/dramatic/terrible. I originally intended to try to update this on a weekly basis, but I think fortnightly-ish is probably more realistic. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed or followed this story. It's very encouraging & I appreciate it so much! As always, reviews are very welcome. Thanks for sticking around!

_

Cosima Niehaus reclining on my bed, bare feet hanging haphazardly off the end was something I thought I could only dream of. But here she was, her arms dancing around excitedly as she pointed to all the tiny stars littered about my ceiling and loudly proclaiming how "hella rad" my bedroom must be in the evening. As much as I had dreamed of this, spending time with her, I had never thought it would actually happen, let alone feel so natural, so perfect. My body tingled from head to toe with anxious excitement.

I watched Cosima, and tried to dream up a way to keep her here forever, and considered asking her to sleepover. I hadn't had anyone sleep over since we had come to America, and the idea of beautiful, perfect Cosima snuggled up in my bed made me giddy. Realising she would have to see me in my pyjamas snapped me back to reality.

Suddenly she sat up, jumping on to her feet and walking around my room. She inspected all my belongings with a curiosity that I would have found adorable if I wasn't so concerned.

"Delphine!" her voice sounded breathy and excited "Your room is like totally fit for a princess!" My room was large, sure, but it was not especially fancy as Cosima seemed to think. It was the only room in the house Maman hadn't personally decorated, and was missing all the flourishes of wealth Maman was so fond of. I found myself wondering what Cosima's bedroom was like, if she thought my own was so grand.

I blushed as she thumbed over the volumes sitting on my book case, scolding myself for not thinking to hide my geekier books somewhere more subtle. Adorably, she stood on the tips of her toes, straining to catch a peek at the upper shelves of my book case, where I kept my more personal belongings. Though I had not been blessed in many physical ways, with my angry patch of curls the finest hairdressers in France couldn't seem to tame, and my teeth, that while straight now, had endured two painful years of orthodontics, I did have the advantage of height. An advantage I'd never been more grateful for, considering my very personal, very full of passages rather exuberantly expressing my desires for one Cosima Niehaus, diary was currently on the uppermost shelf.

Her legs seemed to get tired, and she sunk to her normal height as she turned to look at me.

"Delphine" My name sounded like a prayer to the heavens when it slipped out from between her lips. "As much as I like looking at all your crap, I really did come here to learn something!"

"Oh merde, Cosima, don't think I had forgotten!" I pulled open my drawer and reached for the colourful pile of cards I had prepared the night before. "I made flashing cards!"

"_Flash ing cards_? Jesus, Delphine. You're legit adorable" Cosima beamed, and I felt my cheeks turn what I was sure was a vibrant shade of cherry red.

Cosima hurried over to my desk and sat on my rug, legs crossed, in front of me. She lazily pressed her elbow to her thigh, and lay her chin against her hand. She raised an eyebrow "Teach me then, oh wise goddess of all things French." She said it with such a cheeky grin that it took all my self control to lean down and kiss her.

And so we began. After an interesting half hour, with Cosima unabashedly making fun of me, and pronouncing things as terribly as she could manage for my amusement, Cosima decided it was time for a new lesson.

"Delphine" she began, her face lighting up like a child who had discovered a secret stash of candy their parents had squirreled away "I think you should teach me to say something dirty."

I raised an eyebrow and gave her the best disapproving look I could muster. I do not think I managed this very well, because she did not take my look very seriously.

"No, no, hear me out. I mean... Verb tenses, useful, sure. Pronunciation, fantastic! But like, how am I supposed to chat up hot French girls if I can only speak like a goody two shoes?"

My cheeks turned as red as the polish on my fingers. "Talk dirty to me, Delphine!" she said, laughing at her own joke, and blatantly ignoring my disapproval. Cosima Niehaus was enjoying my discomfort far too much, and I had to do something about it.

"Non, Cosima, I will not teach you any vulgarities!" The words flew from my mouth sterner than I had intended, but Cosima didn't care, she only smirked wider as I squirmed in my chair, trying my hardest to remain poised in the face of her cheekiness.

"You know Delphine, when a hot French girl invites you to her house to practice your language skills, you really, really hope there's going to be some physical demonstrations." She said it with a wink and yet again, my legs were jelly. I did not know whether she was joking or not, but really, I did not care.

Cosima Niehaus was joking about touching me! She had thought about us touching! She called me _hot!_

Before I had the chance to second guess myself, I leaned down, pressed my hand to her chin and steered her towards my mouth with a gentle force. The earth was moving so slowly, and it seemed that my whole life had been leading up to this moment. My heart thumped and I bit my lower lip softly as we grew closer. But before our mouths could touch, there was a knock at my door. Cosima darted away from me with a swift movement that implied she'd been caught like this before, and suddenly my step-father was in my bedroom.

"Delphine" He said, looking directly at me with an overly enthused grin on his face that was making me slightly uncomfortable. "You simply cannot monopolise all the pretty girls in your room like this!"

_Get out,_ I screamed in my head, and I wanted to slam the door in his smug face.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to everyone has reviewed, favourited, or followed. It's really nice to receive feedback & support! Sorry for the delayed update, my life has been pretty hectic. I'd like to commit to more regular updates, but unfortunately, I can't at the moment. But, rest assured, I'm not abandonning this.

_

I threw myself against my bed and silently shouted into my pillow. I wanted to shout louder. I wanted to stomp down the hallway into my stepfather's study, grab Cosima by the wrist, and drag her back to my bedroom. But my stepfather had her now. He'd marched into my room, and lured her out of my room with promises of showing her his prized first edition of On the Origin of Species. He was everything I couldn't be. Smart. Confident. Alluring.

I was beyond mad. I wanted to show Cosima things too. I wanted to show her what it felt like to kiss me. I wanted to feel her kissing me. I wanted so very many things that I did not know what to do. So I lay on bed staring at the ceiling and willed Cosima to return to my bedroom.

I don't know how long I lay there. I think my rage interfered with my ability to tell the time, but eventually I heard a soft knock on my door. I sat up immediately.

"Come in" I said. But my voice sounded as though I didn't really mean it. The last thing I needed was Maman or Aldous coming in here.

I was surprised when Cosima shuffled into my room, a wide toothy grin spread across her face.

"Man, Delphine, I thought your room was cool, but your step-dad has some wicked cool stuff!" The words came out of mouth quickly, threading together with her excitement. I felt my anger melt away. I couldn't be angry when Cosima Niehaus was in my room, bouncing on the balls of her feet with giddy glee.

Sitting up, I shrugged. "I am used to I guess. He does not really let me into his study." I said.  
"How can you stay away? I want to like, live in there!" She said.

It was strange to hear someone talk about my step father so positively. Maman gushed over him as she had always done, yes, but after months of his trial and media attention I had come to think of him as an evil man. I had not realised how much so until this evening.

"I will drive you home" I offered. Cosima shook her head.  
"You don't have to" She said. "I live on the other side of town. It's gonna be way outta your way."  
"Which is exactly why you should not drive yourself. Anyway, I need the practice." I said. I was firm. I wanted her alone, away from my parents.

With that, I got up from my bed, grabbed Cosima by the wrist, and led her to my stepfather's study. I knew he would be in there with Maman, discussing the trial as they did every evening. I hoped they would be too busy discussing their affairs to bother arguing that I should not be driving with passengers, alone at night, when I only had my driving permit.

I knocked on the door, but I did not wait for a response as I usually did. I pushed the door open and marched in. I felt so brave with Cosima's wrist at my finger tips. I could feel her pulse beating beneath my fingers and it spurred me on.

"Maman, I am going to drive Cosima home. I will not be long!" I said it so firmly I surprised myself. I did not bother to wait for answer. I grabbed Cosima and all but dragged her down the hallway after me.  
"Okay ma bijou, be careful!" I heard Maman's words call after me, but I was not really listening. All I could think about was getting Cosima alone.

I continued dragging Cosima until we were in Maman's car.  
"You will have to give me directions, Co-si-ma." Her name always came out in broken, breathy syllables when I was nervous, I was learning.  
"Its really okay, Delphine. I don't wanna be any trouble."  
I smiled, the sweetest smile I could muster.  
"It's okay Cosima. As I said, I need the practice."

We drove for some time, and eventually Cosima directed me to parking the car on the side of the street she said she lived on. It was a pretty street, full of small houses with neat fences, and nice lawns. Tall trees littered the pavement down each side of the street. It was so very suburban. It was so very _normal. _

"Thanks, um, thank you.. For the ride, I mean." She said the words so softly. It struck me, after all her bravado earlier, Cosima was as nervous as I was. Cosima Niehaus was as nervous to be alone with me as I was to be with her.  
"You I very welcome, Co-si-ma. I like you, Co-si-ma. I like you very much." I tried to sound as sweet as I could. I tried to sound seductive. I probably sounded like Pepe Le Pew.

I do not know what came over me, but I found myself inching ever closer to Cosima. My knees pressing into the side of her leg, dopey smile spread across my face. I licked my lips, ever so slightly, just enough to let her know my intention. I could feel her hot breath against the side of my face, and I bravely reached my finger tips up, up, up to her cheek, pulling her closer to me. I bit my lip, and mustered every bit of courage I could find, and slowly, slowly, slowly I pressed my lips against hers.

It was soft at first, with my nerves holding me back, but when I realised she was not going to pull away, I was firmer. I kissed her, and she kissed me back, and my whole body was on fire. I was melting. I was a puddle. I was putty in her fingers.

_I am kissing Cosima Niehaus!_ It was all I could think.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N at the bottom, friends!

It is a strange thing really, to have exactly what you want, exactly who you want sitting in front of you, with her mouth pressed forcefully against your own. A strange and magical thing.

She kissed me hard, sucking my bottom lip between her teeth and nipping it with those wonderfully sharp teeth of hers. I felt a strange mix of vulnerable and assured. I had instigated this kiss, I had started this, but here she was, taking control. She wanted this as much as I did, and I'm ashamed to admit what this did to me.

I'm sure I moaned into her mouth. She moaned into mine and it was the closest thing to pure bliss I've ever felt. Will ever feel, I'm very sure.

How long we continued like this, I'm not sure. It felt like mere seconds, but it also felt like an eternity, and I couldn't imagine anything outside of this.

In a moment of bravery, I slid my hand up her thigh and rubbed my fingers loosely against her. And that's when she stopped. Cosima released my mouth from hers,and pulled back, her teeth wrapped around her lips instead of mine. I was wickedly jealous. Those teeth were mine now, and I wanted them to mark my entire body, to leave me with a scar somewhere, so I would never forget this moment.

"Del-phine.." She choked out my name and her hands flew wildly in front of her. "This... what ever _this _is.. It's like, hella good.. But my curfew is in 10 minutes, and I really need to go." Her cheeks were tinged with pink and it was all I could to stop myself from kissing them all over.

My heart sank and I'm certain I could feel it in my knees. Time had stopped, with our knees pressed together in this little car, and I had not considered that she might ever have to leave.

"Um, Co-si-ma. I understand.. I will see you tomorrow, yes?" My voice sounded flustered. _Pull yourself together, Delphine! _I thought. _It is just some kisses!_

But it wasn't just some kisses, not to me, and hopefully not to Cosima either.

She inched herself closer to me, so close I thought she might sit on my lap.  
"Bye."  
She whispered it to me and leaned in, pressing her lips to my cheek, and in an instant she was out of the car.

"Bye, ciao" I said it myself really, she had already gone.

I watched her as she walked off, hips swaying in that typical Cosima way, with her hair bouncing along after each step. She slipped down an alley between two of those identical houses and disappeared, leaving me sitting in Maman's car dizzy and ecstatic.

I don't know how I managed to drive home. I was so distracted I drove the car onto the curb twice, and drove right across the speed bumps on my quiet little street without slowing down in the slightest. But eventually I found myself at the gates to my house, driving the car up to the house as stealthily as any novice driver could, stealing into the house, and skipping straight to my bedroom.

My bedroom felt different now, now that Cosima had been in here. It smelled of her faintly; of freshly dug earth and vanilla, that perfect mix that sent my head into a spin.

I slipped out of my clothes, throwing them, and leaving them whenever they landed. I slipped on my pyjamas, the silly ones, with owls wearing glasses. Maman had insisted they were cute. I jumped on to my bed, and pulled my pillow to my chest, hugging it tightly with both of my arms. The pillow was soft and I imagined it was Cosima nestled in so snuggly next to me.

My body was tingling all over, but more specifically there was a dull ache between my thighs, and I couldn't help but slip my fingers between them, under my knickers, and inside of myself.

I had touched myself before, of course, but it had never felt like this. It was like grasping at straws before, feeling the friction but never getting anywhere. This time was so different, and I felt as thought I would burst into flames.

My hips bucked up into the air, and I found myself wishing it was Cosima's hand instead of my own, but if I shut my eyes tightly enough, and held my breath for just a few seconds, it really felt as it was her hand, stroking inside of me, and pushing me to the brink of _this._

My thighs quaked, and I could feel a thin layer of sweat on the backs of my knees. I curled my toes and my hips lifted of the bed, and suddenly it was over. I came with my fingers gripping so tightly on my sheet that my knuckles were white, with my face pressed into my pillow, panting her name in a desperate whisper.

_Co-si-ma._

So... Sorry this is so short.. I've had this written for like a month... But I have no internet because I'm temporarily living in an Alison Hendrix-esque subdivision (it's horrible) while my house has earthquake repairs... & it's taken me this long to realise I can tether my iphone to my laptop & use terrible mobile data. But yay technology.. Yay updates... Anyway, I'm not abandoning this. I'm just a snail, obviously.  
Note: knickers is a weird word but I can't bring myself to ever use the word panties... Why do americans say panties?  
Anyway... Reviews are always appreciated! They encourage me to write more & generally not be an awful person, thank you.


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